What Hurts the Most songfic
by Alunesta
Summary: second part to How to Save a Life songfic


I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay

But that's not what gets me

Kid walked down the halls. School just wasn't the same, not without her. Soul shut himself out, not allowing anyone, not even Black*Star, to come close. Kid wanted to confront him, to yell at him, but it was no use. Kid absently wiped his cheek, and noticed a tear had slipped out. He blamed himself; he thought maybe he could have done something. Instead he just let it happen, too afraid that he would make it worse. The pain was still there; still as sharp as when he barged into her room.

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

_She sat on the balcony, and looked out over the town. Her emerald eyes were distant, and sad. Kid came up beside her, and examined her face. He tried to think of something to say, something that would somehow make it all better. Nothing came to mind. "Maka… I..." but he stopped, nothing in his head seemed right. He mentally kicked himself. He wanted to tell her it was ok, that he would always protect her, but it just didn't seem to form right in his head. She looked over at him, and gave him a fake smile. "I'm ok," She lied. "Really." She hopped off the balcony, and started walking away. Kid wanted to grab her arm and hug her, tell her she wasn't, but he was too afraid to. He was afraid of rejection. _

_And never knowing_

_What could have been _

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

_ She walked down the hall, her head down. Kid ran up to her and grabbed her hand. "Come on." He said, his voice excited. She followed, wide-eyed. He led her out of the school, and through the city. They ended up at a small building. It was old looking, like it was about to fall apart. She looked doubtful, but let him lead her in anyways. Inside was a tiny library, with very old books. She looked around in fascination. With a small smile she started looking at the books, and her smile widened. "How did you find this place?" She said, her voice genuinely happy. "My father showed it to me, said I could come here any time I want." Her frown returned. "I need to cook dinner, Soul… Soul always burns his food." She said, her voice going back to that emotionless state. _

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go_

_But I'm doin it_

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

_Still harder getting up getting dressed livin with this regret_

_But I know, if I could do it over_

_I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

_That I left unspoken_

_ Maka was laughing at something Soul said, they all were. Kid watched her, glad she was happy. He had been doing that a lot lately. The memory played in his head. Right now he was thinking he should have told her. How he thought she was an amazing person. Staring down at the black coffin was like tearing off the scab, making it bleed all over again. He felt the tears come again, stinging his golden eyes. They fell down and landed on the polished wood. His hand lightly trailed it, before his knees gave out. He rested his head on the edge of the coffin, his eyes squeezed shut. Tears kept rolling down his cheeks. Soul came up beside him, and put a hand on his shoulder. _

_And what hurts the most _

_Is being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_ She had her knees pulled up to her chest, her head down. Her hair wasn't in its usual pigtails. Instead it hung down like a curtain, covering the tears running down her face. Kid sat beside her, rubbing her back. He still couldn't think of the right words to say, so he just kept rubbing her back. She leaned into him slightly, allowing the meager comfort. After a while she lifted her head, and smiled. Her cheeks were tear stained and her eyes were rimmed red. "Thank you Kid." Then she got up and walked away. Now it was his turn to hug his knees. _

_And what hurts the most_

_Was being so close_

_And having so much to say_

_And watching you walk away_

_And never knowing_

_What could have been_

_And not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do_

_ Kid stared at the grave. Fresh flowers were starting to wither, making it look sad. This time no tears fell. His heart still hurt, but he couldn't really show it anymore. He felt weary and tired. He wanted to go to sleep and never wake up, or crawl into a corner and never come out. He felt hollow inside, it wasn't just her life she took, it was his heart as well._

_I'm saying that loving you_

_That's what I was tryin to do_

_ He set down his own flowers, and knelt beside the headstone. "I'm sorry Maka. I didn't realize it until now." He said, barely above a whisper. "I love you." He stuck his hands deep into the pockets on his black jacket, and walked away. _


End file.
